When to Make the Call (or Huddle)
You know when you're messaging with a colleague and things are getting a teensy bit tense?
At least it feels that way as you watch the chat bubbles hang in animation for way too long. There's a misunderstanding and that person is going to make sure YOU understand in written thesis-form.
Truth be told, you're already getting your own novel of an email outlined to make sure they understand where THEY are wrong. Those paragraphs practically write themselves in the heat of the moment. Please tell me you've been there before too? Just me? Those moments happen sometimes, right? Yeah.
And it happens on greater magnitudes as well. Ever been pulled into a web of he-said, she-said, they-said, we-said with direct reports recounting their text-based back and forths with other colleagues or eternal partners.
When we need a détente, we need an old-fashioned phone call....or new-fashioned zoom call or Slack huddle for a clear-the-air connection.
It's one of the most important lessons I've learned about being a remote leader -- knowing when it's time to pick up the dang phone. Almost like it's the olden days or something.
A wise manager once taught me, that when things start feeling like a "kermit typing meme" with emails, texts or chat messages flying back and forth in rapid-fire long form explanations, that it's time for the human voice to enter the picture.
Often times, so much can be solved, and heated miscommunications de-escalated quickly by talking in real time.
I realize this must sound like the most simple thing in the world to say, but it's surprising the number of times it happens, and dialing a number or "hopping on a zoom real quick" feels like an epiphany all over again.
But by working in a virtual world for all this time, I've trained myself to become quicker at having that epiphany on the regular. And it's become an active tool in coaching my team as well, as all of us can find ourselves in-the-zone and hiding behind our lil' laptop screens as a matter of habit. It feels safe back there, tucked behind our keyboards.
Here are a few signs I've learned to watch for when it’s time to make real-time human-voice contact.
The tone of the messages has changed for the negative -- maybe it feels more terse, aggressive, or passive aggressive than normal.
On chat (Slack, Teams, Gchat): The back and forth messages have started increasing in length to three, four, or many more sentences and they are coming at a rapid pace.
Over email: The messages have become tome-like with cases, explanations or defenses. Days are passing with this back and forth. Maybe there's lots of bullet points. Maybe the words "as per my last email" are flying about. Maybe the sign-off feels like a final dagger with a "Best" when they're usually more of a "Warmly" person.
Anything that requires nuance
After a video call: If miscommunications happened live, perhaps in a group setting and things were left unresolved, that can also be a prompt to prioritize smoothing things over with a quick synchronous call.
Especially, in cases where the individuals involved generally have a good working relationship, hearing one another's voices in real time (or seeing them too if a video call is possible) can go a long way in humanizing the other person.
By hearing one another out live, it can make arriving at a place of mutual understanding and next steps an easier prospect. It doesn't make the issue at hand magically solve itself, but it does provide the space to make it more possible.
Not only that, the way we communicate with each other impacts trust and working relationships in a million invisible ways. The faster we can cut off any damaging dynamics and alleviate friction, the greater the chance of success of maintaining a healthy team dynamic.
Author: Annie Liao
